Isaiah 43:18 Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. NIV
Do you ever catch yourself thinking about the “what might have been” things in your life? I kind of got stuck here for a little while this morning when I realized that it is April 4. In 1980, I married on this date. We promised to love, cherish, honor and respect each other until the day we died. Well, we didn’t.
I wasn’t the best wife, that’s for sure. He wasn’t the best husband, either. So, we did what so many people do in this day and age. We ended our marriage. Divorces are nasty, vicious, bitter, hate-filled battles. Divorces leave everybody involved wounded and broken, some much more than others. But, what I learned from that season of my life is I am not who I was then: I am better. I cannot change one thing about my former marriage, because that is in the past. I cannot be bitter over a nasty divorce that happened 18 years ago, but I can learn from mistakes that I made, accept responsibility for them, and make sure I don’t repeat them. I can refuse to waste my life holding grudges and being resentful and angry. Been there. Done that. Accomplished nothing.
God, thank You for reminding me that sometimes we have to move out of the bitterness of the past. You’ve given me such a loving husband. We have a wonderful life together. We respect each other. Today, I choose to not dwell on the “what might have beens” of the past. I am so thankful for Your grace. This “year of the onion” stuff has been tough. Thank You for walking with me, every step of the way.
I read this the other day - briefly. When you told me I could receive your blogs by email, I was so excited - and couldn't wait to read this one again. I do the same thing - always think what if I'd done this, or done that. Someone told me one day that if you keep one foot in the past and one foot in the future you are pissing on today (pardon the language), and it made complete sense to me. However, I still do it. I completely understand Paul in the bible when he says "I do not do the thing I ought to do......" That verse has always been a tongue twister to me, but I completely relate to it.
ReplyDeleteAnd, as your friend who has known you 18 years now :), you are amazing.