I'm So Jealous Of You ~

Exodus 20:17  You are not to covet your neighbor's house. You are not to covet your neighbor's wife, his male or female servant, his ox, his donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor. ESV

I had lunch with my sister Sunday.  My sister has everything.  She is just a couple of years older than me and retired.  Her husband is also retired.  Their house is paid for.  Their vehicles are paid for.  In my eyes, she has everything. Sometimes I am so jealous of her.  During lunch, I’m sitting there thinking….”I’ll never have what she has.”  Then she said these words….”I’m so jealous of everything you have.”  Wait, what?

This led to a beautiful conversation of where we are in our personal lives.  

It’s so easy to see the beauty in someone else’s lives, but what about their personal struggles?  Do we spend enough time to really seeing a person as they truly are?  And more than that, how much time do we spend focusing on what’s wrong in our lives instead of what if good and pure and blessed?

God, thank You for yet another life lesson.  I’ll admit that I was a little put out with my sister when she didn’t let me complain and whine about my struggles.  It was a pretty good bump on the head.  I also thank You for letting me spend time with her; to be there for her; to listen to her heartaches in this season of her life.  Sometimes we think we could have so much more if we could just trade places with someone else.  But if we did, then not only would we get their blessings, we would inherit their brokenness.  Don’t covet.  Got it.

Calm Down~

Colossians 3:23 Whatever you do, do it from the heart for the Lord and not for people. CEB

What happens to women to make them think that they have to take on everything?  My goodness.  I find myself so shot out that I end up resenting what I thought I’d love.  Then I use up all my allotted cuss words.  Then I find myself frustrated at my husband for sitting there in the recliner with his feet put up.  Doesn’t he SEE how overloaded I am?

Thanksgiving.  You know, the holiday set aside for giving thanks and junk.  I sure had to have a little “Come to Jesus” meeting with myself.  I ordered my food from a restaurant, I spent the day with my family, and I let the rest go.  You know what?  Nobody died.  Nothing fell apart.  The world didn’t end.  And I sure am more thankful for the time spent with my family.

Dear God, thank You for giving me a good lesson these past few days.  I still want everything my way RIGHT NOW, but I am learning that nobody will explode, not even me, if things happen at a slower pace.  Perspective and patience is a good lesson to learn.  I just need to calm down and remember that whatever I need to do, needs to be done from my heart with love, not with resentment and frustration.  Same amount of work, just worlds of difference in the end results.

Rules and Stuff ~

Deuteronomy 11:19  You shall teach them to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.  ESV

Being a parent is such a gift.  Let me tell you, there were times that I failed miserably.  There were times when I should have beat the brakes off of my kids, but because we were divorced, I let them slide because I wanted them to “love me more than they loved their dad”.  Fail...fail, fail, fail.  

In my “other” job, I have to deal with children.  I have come to fully appreciate children who have parents who give guidance to their children.  I love little people who have been raised to have manners and respect.  I realize that I'm about to give an opinion, but here goes. I'm just not all about this new age parenting style.  Children need boundaries. Children need parents to teach them, not parents who are letting them run buck wild, screaming and spitting, and never having rules because “it stifles their creativity”. Yeah, I was told that recently by a parent of a 4 year old who spit on me. 

Jesus, forgive me for being judgmental today. Your word says a lot about raising children. Maybe I should buy a bunch of Bible and highlighters…. I am so thankful my kids lived through my season of raising them. I think I need to go pray for our next generation and myself for more grace. 

Wanting and Getting ~

1 Timothy 4:16  Pay close attention to your life and your teaching. Persevere in these things, because if you do so, you will save both yourself and those who listen to you.  ISV

Things are changing rapidly in my life.  I feel so out of balance.  Some ot the changes, I have asked for while some, I definitely have not.  I have found myself “in a mood”, resentful and bitchy.  Why doesn’t anybody see where I am and help me pick up the slack?  LORD, don’t you hear me?

Why?  Because I am an enabler.  There….I said it.  I’d rather get up and do the laundry, the dishes, sweep the floor, go to a session, drive home near midnight, edit all morning and do it over the next day….and get madder by the second until I just am ready to slap the sin out of those around me.

The same goes with my work life.  You know, I want to change some things.  I want better for us.  I want to manage our finances better.  But “wants” and “gets” are two different things.  The awakening I have had is that I am also enabling MY frustrations.  Making a change in my life is necessary, and no matter how much I bitch or how much I pray, I am the only one who can begin the process.  

God, I haven’t been setting the best example lately.  I’m so frustrated that I have myself so wrapped around the axle of life.  Time to get untangled.  Thank You for this verse today.  It was exactly what I needed to read to show me that, through You, I have the power to settle down, make goals, and make life better.

Trust in Him Also ~

Psalm 37:5 “Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass.”

A couple of nights ago, I spent about 2 hours texting back and forth with a precious friend.  Her heart is breaking because she is struggling with a season of infertility.  I tried to text all of the right words:  God’s timing.  Don’t try so hard.  Honey, you can’t control everything (she is a very organized, detail oriented planning/control freak). Don’t make this a job.  Everything will happen when it’s supposed to.  You have so much; a new job, a beautiful child, a husband who loves you…. As I was trying to encourage her, I also made sure to be very sympathetic to her heartbreak.

It’s very hard for me to understand why people who don’t even want a child can have one every year, while others spend year after year longing for a baby.  I also have a hard time understanding why there are so many neglected and abused children who are in such sad homes, hungry and unloved, when there are loving homes just waiting to be filled. Our system for adoption is so broken, but that is a topic for another day.

As I was searching for verses to fit this blog post, I was overwhelmed with the ones that say, “ask, believe, and you get it”.  Hmmmm...There goes that doubt again.  God doesn’t always answer our prayers in the way that we think that He should.  That’s when faith comes in.  That’s when we have to surrender our “wants” to His “will”, I guess.

God, I know we are never to question You.  You have a plan and a purpose.  You have wisdom beyond our comprehension.  Today, I pray that you will comfort the hearts of so many families who are struggling with the reality of infertility.  Give them comfort.  Give them peace.  Give them hope.  Give them faith to trust You in their struggle and heartbreak, so that Your will is done in their lives.

Oh ~

Psalm 107:13  “LORD, help!” they cried in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress.” NIV

It’s Monday morning after a heck of a weekend.  I’m thinking, as I’m sending out replies to emails, phone calls, etc. and getting quite pissy at the number of people who want “deals” or “free” from me.  They don’t even know my name until I offer a bargain, then all of a sudden….messages from everybody.

And then it happened.  I was so convicted.  Like “convicted to tears” convicted.  How many times have I blown through life, happy as a lark, forgetting to praise God for all of the goodness that I have all the things He has done for me, all of my blessings?  But let something go terribly wrong, and all of a sudden, I’m sending message after message to Him.  All of a sudden, I need Him.  

God, I am so sorry that I take You for granted.  It seems that I’m acting pretty human again.   You carry me, even when I don’t remember You.  You give me strength.  You protect me in all of my travel.  You give me rest.  Thank You for that moment of conviction.  Everything I receive from You is a “deal” or is “free”.  Thank You for letting me be a work in progress, yet again.

All He Wants Me To Be ~

Philippians 3:12  I don’t mean to say I am perfect.  I haven’t learned all I should even yet, but I keep working toward that day when I will finally be all that Christ saved me for and wants me to be.

For a few days, when I lay down at night to read my Bible, I keep coming back to this verse.  Just one more lesson in “God’s timing”.

I got my boat overloaded these last few days.  I’ve shorted out, had a fit, worked too hard, got a headache from that, dealt with some humdingers of people, cussed a little, and kept everything else going at the same time.  Yesterday, I was editing pictures, trying to book a wedding with one person, writing a contract for another person, ordering canvases, and cooking dinner all at once.  But I wasn’t doing any of these tasks perfectly.

I can do all of that at once  because that’s how I thrive.  We are all designed in a unique way.  We all have gifts and goals.  God has a plan and a purpose for us.  All week, I needed to be reminded that, while I can multi task, I’m far from being all that God wants me to be.  Sometimes He needs me to “be still”.  I suck at “being still”, but I am learning.

God, You keep teaching me new lessons every day.  Tonight, I surrendered to Your word.  I will keep working towards that day when I can be all that You designed me to be.  Thanks for the head bump.