Heart of Wisdom

Psalms 90:12  “So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.” ESV

You will read the word balance many times  in my writings, because that is where I am in life.  As working women, I feel sometimes we get lost in the shuffle of work, school, husband, housework, children, and the list goes on and on.  We lose who we are. We find ourselves mentally and physically exhausted.  I can’t speak for all of you, but at times, I find myself being very resentful of my role in this now season of my life.  That starts a chain reaction in my home.  Remember that as women, we set the tone for our household.

For as long as there have been women on the earth, we have been  known as the weaker sex.  Really?  A man must have come up with that.  The last thing a woman is is weak.  We may be overwhelmed, but we certainly aren’t weak.  We feel like we have to do everything to make our family’s lives run smoothly.  Fact:  Life is rarely smooth.  Sometimes I don’t know if I’m coming or going.  I pass myself on the way home.  Then I get home and the guys are sitting in the recliners with their feet up watching football.  The laundry isn’t done.  Or dinner cooked.  Wait.  Scratch that.  They are going to eat.  That’s essential to their survival so they will cook, but clean clothes are optional.  Remember that line above about “resentment”?  Yes.  Now.  

During this time of the year, I am running on fumes.  I do not take the time to renew my spirit or my body.  As I get older, I am finding that I need to have time for me.  We all need time for us.  We need quiet time to be with God, too.  I am so busy, though.  How do I squeeze another moment into our day and still have time to sleep?  It’s time to reset my priorities. I am important to me.  My time is valuable.  I need to take care of me so that I can take care of everyone I love.  

The most valuable thing I have learned on this journey is that it is okay to say “no” and it’s okay to ask for help.  So many times, I am just boiling inside because my family cannot see that the chores need to be done.  What is wrong with them?  There lies the problem. Nothing is wrong with them, but with me.  I am mad because I expect my guys to be mind readers.  I am the one circling the emotional drain, going down for the last time because I am overwhelmed.  And yet, I have not opened my mouth to ask for help.  Words I should say become words I should not say.  That is totally not fair to my family.  I am choosing to be frustrated. I am choosing the tone of our household.  If I had simply sent a text before I started home asking my son to do a couple of loads of clothes, please, and to save me a plate, it would have been done.  They are good guys.  They just think differently than I do.

Dear Lord, thank You for showing me this revelation today.  I need that heart of wisdom that You spoke of in Scripture.  I need to value myself, to number my days, to ask for help, to say no so that my household works together for Your glory.  Amen