Feeling Human

Ecclesiastes 7:20  Surely there is not a righteous man on earth who does good and never sins.  ESV

I’m feeling pretty human today.  I love sitting down and finding scripture for these posts.  I love learning about Jesus.  I hope that these little blogs will help other women feel that there are others who have been where they are.  But today, I am struggling.

When I decided a year ago to change my life, I truly hoped that it would be this miraculous joyride of happy attitude and loving Jesus and everything being glorious every day.  Sunshine and roses and junk.  Yeah.  Not so much today.

No matter how hard I try, sometimes things just do not go the way I need them to.  I fall back into negative ways and then my mouth….well, it just starts running with that no filter thing it has.  Before I know what has happened, I have said a string of sarcastic comments about things that are bothering me.  Then it happened.  My husband, bless his perfect little heart, points out to me that I am being a hypocrite.  I am writing one thing and portraying another.  Dammit.  I hate when he is right.   I had a revelation in my thinking in that I need to hold myself to the same standard in which I see others. I was being judgemental and negative because of someone else’s actions….or lack of action as this case may be.

I am already my greatest critic.  Once I become aware of a failure, it grows and grows until it begins to make me begin to doubt my self worth.  I truly have to battle my mind to find my balance again.  I begin to feel less than worthy.  I begin to feel as though maybe I don’t have any business trying to write a “Godly” blog.

Solomon was a wise man in the Bible.  The verse I chose for today’s blog, I’m pretty sure, covers women as well.  It doesn’t matter how hard we try, we are going to fail, sometimes epically, at leading a Godly life.  Once again, Satan had attacked me in my weakest area; my self-esteem.  I had my little pity party, and then I got over it.  I will do my best to do good.  I will sin, too, but I will not let Satan keep me from what it is that God wants me to do.  When you feel like a failure, remember this verse. It says EVERY righteous man sins.  “Righteous” person. “Righteous” woman.  Everybody sins.  I’m not making excuses for my sin. I know that it’s something that I will have to work on the rest of my earthly life.  I am thankful that we serve a mighty God who continues to love us, and forgive us, even when we are human.