Jealousy and Insecurity ~

James 3:14  But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth.  NIV

My grandson will turn 12 tomorrow.  He is an absolute delight in our lives.  Jay is smart and funny and of course, handsome.  He is a protector.  He is a peace-maker.  He doesn’t want strife between people.  He is wise beyond his years.

Since I have had grandchildren, we have had a blended family.  So many times, it would have been smarter for the adults to remember that, “It takes a village to raise a child.”  I can’t say that I have liked sharing the grandmother role at all. “I” am their blood.  “I” am their REAL grandmother.  You know what those thoughts are?  Envy.  Jealousy.  Insecurity.  Fear.  Those aren’t Godly thoughts.  Those are from Satan.  I see the  pure, unfiltered love that my husband has for our grandchildren.  He’s not “blood”, but he is their Pa.  My oldest grandson wasn’t born into my bloodline, but rather given to me by marriage.  I don’t love him any differently, any more, any less than I do Jay.  So, what is my problem?  Jealousy?  Insecurity?  Fear that the grandkids won’t love me as much as they do the other grandparents? All of the above.

Hey God, guess what?  I haven’t been focusing on the what is good today.  I’ve been hung up on jealousy and insecurity.  I want to thank you for giving me grandchildren.  I want to thank you for reminding me that it’s ok to share them with others.  The more people who love them, the healthier they will be.  Help me to be grateful for time spent with these grandchildren You have blessed me with.  Help me to never boast about how great of a Mimi I am to them.  Help me just to love them.  Period.   I don’t always like when You hold me accountable, but I’m learning to trust You to get me through it.  Sometimes, I’m embarrassed by what You’re showing me, but if I can help even one child not have to go through the pain of adults not acting like adults, then “I got this”.