Homework ~

Ephesians 4:31-32   Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.  Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.  ESV

For a few weeks, I have been talking with a friend of mine about letting go of the hate in her heart that she has for a failed relationship.  I’ve told her all of the pretty words about letting go, forgiveness, as long as she is seeking revenge, he still controls her, and so forth.  I see all the things that she should do.  I want my friend to be free from that bondage.  I talk a good talk; when it is someone else.

Yesterday, I got busted upside my head with memories of a time in my life that was both traumatic and embarrassing to my family.  Here I am writing a blog about Jesus’ love and forgiveness and all of this, and with just a few words about the past, I realized that i need to do some homework on forgiveness.  

Finding balance in your life when you feel you have been wronged is tough.  First off, I don’t want to forgive, I want to be vindicated.  I want to tell my story and let the whole world know what really happened.  And that would prove…..nothing.  

Isn’t it a good thing that God doesn’t sit in Heaven and want to revisit all of the times we have embarrassed him?  Isn’t it wonderful that He removes our sin “as far as the East is from the West”, never to be mentioned again?  Aren’t we glad that He doesn’t keep score?  

God, today I come to you as a sinner.  I realize that I still have some hurt and resentment in my heart.  Well, I’ll be honest.  I have a lot of hurt in my heart.  Help me to let that stuff go.  You can’t use me here today if I’m hanging on to things of yesterday.  Help me to remember that all of these things I’m realizing about myself (and not enjoying at all) have to be cleaned up and cleared out.  Everyday, You are giving me words to write.  Today, I’m having to trust You completely.  Maybe others are dealing with holding on to resentment for others.  Show them the mirror, God.  I bet they won’t like how they look in it, either.  I know I sure didn’t.  But, I’m glad I saw me as You see me.  Signed: Your Work in Progress.