Psalms 103:3-5 He forgives all my sins. He heals me. He ransoms me from hell. He surrounds me with loving kindness and tender mercies. He fills my life with good things.
Psalms 103. I really needed this beautiful chapter of the Bible to fall open today. Last week, I had a bit of temper and spoke a few of those cuss words I use to say quite a bit of. It’s been a while, but I guess I remember them pretty well. Someone in my life said, “You should put that in your Jesus blog.” Hand out…..mike drop.
Instantly, I was filled with regret, condemnation, and the worst; insecurity and worthlessness. Then I wanted to do the finger pointing thing, making sure they knew they had NO right to judge me based on their representation of Christianity. I wanted to justify my outburst. I didn’t say anything, but instead was filled with shame. I spent a week asking for forgiveness, but I have also spent a week believing Satan telling me that, “You know they are right. You have no business trying to be a Christian. You’re a hypocrite. You are not worthy to tell others about God.” Satan almost convinced me that he was right. He used someone I love to make me feel unworthy. He will use whatever and whomever he can to take us down.
What I have learned is that I absolutely should not use curse words, even in anger, because people listen. What I have also learned is this: I’m not Jesus and I’m going to fall flat on my face in the sin department…...a lot. I just need to learn from this and move on. That is the beautiful part of this journey. God knows this and loves us anyway.
God, conviction isn’t fun. For whatever reason, You feel that I am worthy to write a blog to help others know and trust You. I know when the word is from You. I also know when I’m trying to make this all about me. Today, I ask You to remind everyone that we all mess up. None of us are worthy. Your word says that if we simply ask, we will be forgiven and You will remove our sin as far as the east is from the west. (Psalms 103:12) For this, I sure am thankful.