It's Not Their Fault ~

Colossians 3:21  Father, (and mothers), do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.  NIV (with a little Kim Stone)

I want to tell you about a scene I witnessed recently.

A mom and a daughter were shopping together.  The little girl wanted a simple toy, like little girls do in a store.  The lady said, “Tell your dad you want it.”  The little girl said back, “Daddy will just say he gives you money every month for me.”  The lady grabbed the toy and threw it in the cart and said, “Fine, but you’re not taking it to your stupid father’s house.”  

All I could say was, “It’s not her fault” as I passed by.  I expected to get my head busted but instead, tears filled the mother’s eyes.  

It was easy for me to show compassion to her because 20 years ago, this could have been me.  I was so bitter and broken that I wanted to make sure my children knew what a jerk their dad was.  He was so out of sorts that he only referred to me as, “Your stupid f-ing mama”.  I thought that would be my legal name on the final judgement papers…

You know what I know now?  That burden was ours to carry, not our childrens’.  They weren’t the ones who couldn’t get it together.  However, they were the ones who suffered.  

I can’t undo those days.  I can be an advocate  for those of you who are where I was then.  It doesn’t matter how much you hurt, how alone you feel, how unfair everything seems, how much you hate the person who is your child’s other parent….it’s not your child’s fault.  None of it is.  

God,  I’ve learned that You won’t leave me alone when something needs to be posted.  I’ve put this post off for a week.  I pray that whoever needs to see this today will see it.  Hopefully, someone will see themselves and think before they speak words that will hurt their children.  Help them, instead,  to teach their children mercy and grace.