Satan and Social Media ~

Psalm 141:3 Set a guard over my mouth, LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips. NIV

James 3:10  From the same mouth come blessing and cursing.  My brothers, these things out not to be so. NIV

I’ve been struggling with this post for about a month now.  If you know me, you know that what comes into my head, usually comes out of my mouth.  One of the biggest spiritual battles I have ever fought is learning not to fight back when someone hurts my feelings.  It seems that this is the year for Satan to use people who should be close to me in my life as his ultimate weapons to try to keep me from doing God’s will.   Then that starts the ball rolling towards self-doubt and conviction that maybe something is terribly wrong with me to make others dislike me so much. And there you go.  Trying to change a sinful habit is not easy at all, especially in this day of social media.

I have to confess.  I have been a nasty person on social media.  I have hurt feelings, been judgmental, got fired up, and lost friendships over stupid stuff.  This past year, a very good friend of mine and I had a long conversation about me. He loved me enough to talk to me in a very open way to show me that, basically, I was being a social media jerk and that I was hurting people who I was supposed to consider friends.  God used him in a powerful way that day. Am I “social media sinless” now? No….but I’m working on it. Am I still a hypocrite at times? Ummmm...yes, shamefully.

What has happened to people?  When did we become a society of such souls who think that hurtful words and bullying, sly little comments, memes (which you spend hours finding just the right one to hurt someone) become the norm?  What has happened is Satan. Satan is having a field day, every day, on social media. And you know what is even scarier? Social media is so addictive that it is ruining peoples lives. Marriages are falling apart.  Children are being neglected while parents have their devices stuck in their faces instead of being engaged with them. People are losing their jobs. People are losing their LIVES because they are on their devices while driving.  On and on I could go. Satan…..

God, this week has been extremely trying for me.  I’m really struggling with the desire to “hurt back”.  So far, You’ve filled me with conviction. Thank You for guarding my lips...and my fingers.  It’s hard, but I know that how I react is how people will see me. It would be so easy to share some creative joke publicly, and perhaps it would be funny to some…...but there is always a little bit of truth in a joke….a little bit of anger...a little bit of pain….a little bit of “I hope that hurts you back”...

Satan, I refuse to let you use me to give you glory. I will not run this one in and put points on your scoreboard.  You need to go on back to hell and leave me alone. God, You got this.

Why She Stayed ~

Why She Stayed ~

Proverbs 22:24-25   Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared.  NIV

We knew that my step-daughter was in an abusive relationship for about a year.  Me, being me, also knew that unless a person is ready for help, there is really no need to try to help them.  Let me just say here that I cannot understand this concept.  But, I am a strong woman.  Not everybody is like me.  I am a “wait til he’s asleep and bust him in the face with a cast iron skillet” type of woman.  My step-daughter is not.  I could not grasp the concept that she would let someone be mean to her kids.  We would encourage her to leave.  She would say, “you don’t understand”.

And then the truth started to unfold.  Little by little, we learned why she stayed.  Little by little he isolated her.  We couldn’t see her or the kids unless he was present.  He took her child support.  He disabled her car.  He isolated her.  He put her out in the yard at 1:00 in the morning.  He told her that he knew everybody in the county.  His daddy is in law enforcement and nobody would believe her.  He told her that he would kill her and the children before she left him.  So, in fear….she stayed.

Do I agree with this?  Nope.  I think I’d have done anything to get away from him.  But before I judge her, I have to remember that I’ve never been in that position.  I’ve never feared that a man would kill my child.  I’ve never had to witness a man hold my little girl by the neck while she screams.  I’ve never had to see a man try to make a child eat their vomit.  I’ve never been so brainwashed to believe that nobody would care.  In desperation, she made videos with her phone, hoping that someone would finally believe her.  Did you know that unless the person being videod KNOWS they are being taped, that they are not admissible  as evidence, no matter how violent they are?  Did you also know that the person making the videos can be arrested for making or sharing them?

We went through all of the proper channels. We got her out.  We got her safe.  And then we found out that she was right.   The small town “good ol’ boy” club showed up in full force.   Her phone was taken as evidence.  All of the videos showing violence mysteriously were “corrupted”.  Strange, huh?  Matt and I were threatened with arrest if we interfered in any way with “their” investigation.  (that means sharing this video with ya’ll...so if I go to jail...please come bail me out)

Today, she went to court to ask for an injunction for protection.  Today, the good ol’ boys came in together and sat together...Today, we realized that by getting our daughter out of an abusive relationship, all we did was make her homeless with three children, with no job, with no vehicle, with nothing.  But she has her kids.  And they are safe.  

God, tonight, I’m mad.  I’m mad at the system.  I’m mad that a poor little boy had to be brutalized.  I’m mad that she felt that she had to stay in it.  I’m mad that she let this happen.  I’m mad that she was right.  I’m mad that law enforcement is too busy playing “good ol’ boy” than to protect a child.  And I’m mad that in order to save her, I have to come up with thousands of dollars.  I’m mad that at the end of the day, nobody who is supposed to care, really cares.

I cannot show the video.  The language is awful.  There are 17 of them, but I have been threatened with charges if I share them.  But, you see...a strong woman has a backup plan.  A strong woman makes copies of everything.  A strong woman sees through a hot-headed bully.  A strong woman comes along side a weaker woman.  I’ll stand by her side.  If not for her, then for those kids.  And that son of a bitch will never touch them again…..Thank You, God, for making me a strong woman.

My Enough Bucket ~

Jeremiah 29:11   For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  NIV

2017.  What a year.  I have a hard time wrapping my head around the year we had.  320 photo shoots, over 30 schools visited, a beautiful dream vacation to the Keys,  a book series that made the top ten on Amazon, a wildly popular blog series, dinner with the First Lady of Florida, and a visit to meet the President and tour Air Force One.  My brother-in-law was cured from leukemia after being given 10 days to live.  I traveled to many beautiful locations.  I caught a whole bunch of bass. We were able to bless over 100 families with our mini sessions.  I am one blessed person.  

Or so I say on social media.  To the world, I live a perfect life; have a perfect marriage; love my job; have the best family life.  Don’t we wish what we post is what we live?

2017 has been hard.  Very hard.  I have felt like I I’m scattered in 40 directions.  Socially, I’m golden.  Emotionally, I’m more like rust.  My mom was diagnosed with Parkinson’s.  I hate Parkinson’s.  I think I was home about 2 nights a week before 11:30 PM several months in a row.   Two  people I love more than life itself have had their world ripped apart and are forced to adapt to changes that nobody should have to face.  I am so burned out that if I never picked up a camera again...ever...I’d be ok.  I’m pretty ashamed of that.   The worst, though, is that I have had to face the fact that no matter what I do, I will never be good enough for some people.  I have some “messy” people in my life.  

My sister got on to me a week ago. She said that I am blind to what I have.  I only focus on what I can’t or don’t have.   I’m not loving that.  I’m really not loving that she is right.  Why is it that we cannot see what we have?  Why does Satan have such a strong-hold on our negative emotions?  The Bible teaches us that God knows the plans He has for us. Plans to prosper.  

In my heart, I know she is right.  I know I am so blessed.  I know that I have had opportunities of a lifetime.  I know.   And yet, I focus on the heartache in my life.

I had an epiphany yesterday.  After hearing a “she said you said story” I said “enough!”.  Enough!!!  I have had enough.  I proceeded to get out an imaginary bucket.  It is my “not my problem” bucket.  I began to fill it with negative thoughts.  I began to put insecurity and doubt in it.  I threw a few people (head first and stomped em to make sure they didn’t jump out) in my bucket, too.  The only “enough” I am going to focus on is the promise from God that says “I” am enough.  I am worthy.  I am perfectly imperfect.  

It’s scary to think about getting back on track with God.  I got derailed by one of those messy people who spoke words to me that made me feel inadequate to follow God’s will for my life.  Enough.  I am enough.  I know Satan will try me again, but God knows the plan.  I just have to focus on that hope and that future He promises.

Wishing all of you a very happy 2018.